last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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