So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
