Don't you send me to vm
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
