i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
