you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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