I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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