i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
