Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
