i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
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Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
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I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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