i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
