boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This baby is an asshole
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize