I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
