So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
