So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
