There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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