I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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