WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
