also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
