separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
