I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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