I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
soo... how was my night?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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