I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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