I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
