Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
