Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
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Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You pole danced in your parka.
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Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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