Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
