Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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