Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I have fence marks all over my body
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
When are your genitals available?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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