That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
