You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
