Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
