My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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