have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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