you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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