This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
