Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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