All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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