I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she told me i tasted like america
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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