So drunk its hurt
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
