I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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