its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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