I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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