It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize