I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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