is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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