Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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