Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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