somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize