I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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