He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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