The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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