You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
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I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
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Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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