Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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