dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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