my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize