It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
