Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
