Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
