I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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