As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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