It's Friday. Sex?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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