dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize