problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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