dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
pop tarts are not kleenex
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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