What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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