hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
