worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
