plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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