i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize